


Big Bad World

by ShowMeAHero



Category: Marvel
Genre: Domestic, Fireworks, Fluff, Fourth of July, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Panic Attacks, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-07-05
Updated: 2015-07-05
Packaged: 2018-04-07 18:07:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,145
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4272981
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShowMeAHero/pseuds/ShowMeAHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The fireworks don't bother Bucky so much, but Steve can't handle them like he used to. Bucky helps.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Big Bad World

**Author's Note:**

> Title taken from ["Big Bad World" by Kodaline](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DuO1pPwgobE).

“Steve?” Bucky called, kicking the front door shut with his foot and placing the two paper bags on the counter in the kitchen. He took out the box of cupcakes Thor had given him and took the lid off. “Thor made you cupcakes for your birthday. They’ve got little stars on them.” Bucky pulled out the ingredients he had obtained for dinner that night, and still he didn’t get an answer. He left the bags half-unpacked to go find Steve on their floor of Avengers Tower.

Bucky flicked on the light in the hallway to their bedroom and knocked on the door. He heard something rustle inside, and he pushed the door open carefully.

“Steve?” Bucky asked softly. The door to the bathroom off their bedroom was slightly open, and he turned on the bedroom light before opening the bathroom door all the way. Steve was sitting in the bathtub, his cheek pressed to the tile wall, staring straight ahead. Bucky sat on the edge of the bathtub.

“Stevie,” Bucky said, keeping his voice quiet, and Steve’s head snapped towards him. “What do you see?”

Steve was silent for a long moment. Bucky tried valiantly to keep his hands to himself.

“It’s dark,” Steve eventually answered. Bucky reached down and took one of Steve’s hands, making sure to use his right hand. Steve flinched, but his fingers tightened like a vise around Bucky’s, so Bucky didn’t let go. “It’s really dark. I can’t- There’s just-”

The sound of fireworks exploding nearby made Steve jerk, releasing Bucky’s hand and reaching behind his back. He grasped at thin air, and his head twitched to the side. Bucky grabbed Steve’s hand and pressed it to his own chest.

“Can you feel my heartbeat?” Bucky asked. Steve turned his face up towards Bucky’s, but his eyes didn’t focus on him. “Steve.”

“Bucky,” Steve responded. His fingers clenched up in the material of Bucky’s shirt. Bucky leaned forward, pushing their foreheads together. Steve twitched, but Bucky just evened out his own breathing.

“Listen to me breathe, Steve,” Bucky instructed. Steve’s eyes finally focused on Bucky, and he started trying to match his breathing to Bucky’s. His grip on Bucky’s shirt tightened, then smoothed out, his palm pressing close to Bucky’s heart. “Hey, Stevie. You’re here. You’re safe. I’ve got you, okay?”

“I’m sorry,” Steve said breathlessly. Bucky wrapped a hand around the back of Steve’s neck, rubbing his thumb in circles over his skin and short hair.

“No need to apologize,” Bucky assured him. “It’s gonna be okay, Stevie.”

“I wasn’t expecting it again,” Steve murmured, shutting his eyes and rolling his head a little against Bucky’s. Bucky stroked the back of his head soothingly.

“Hey, remember, when we were little,” Bucky started, keeping his voice soft and calm, “when we’d see the fireworks, and I told you they were for your birthday? You believed me, for a couple of years. Then you got wise. But I still told you every year, because they were for me. Compared to you, I mean, I couldn’t’ve cared less about Independence Day. I thought you deserved ‘em more than America did.”

“Thanks.” Steve pushed his head into Bucky’s hand a little bit.

“I bet there are fireworks for you now, aren’t there,” Bucky continued. “Big ones. With your name and your shield and everything.”

Steve shook his head and half-shrugged. “I don’t know. I’ve never checked.”

“I bet there are.” Bucky pressed his lips to Steve’s forehead, and the tension drained out of Steve’s body, his shoulders slumping, his neck loosening up. “I bet Stark has a soundproof room with all windows or somethin’. We could ask him. You could see them without the sound.”

Steve’s eyes darted up, examining the underneath of Bucky’s jaw before Bucky pulled back to look at him. “You think so?”

“I know so,” Bucky answered, grinning, and Steve smiled slightly back at him. Bucky stood and helped Steve out of the bathtub, grabbing them two cupcakes and two bottles of cream soda out of the kitchen and shoving them into a paper bag on their way out. Tony was already waiting by the elevator on their floor.

“JARVIS told me,” Tony offered as a greeting. At Steve’s concerned look, he held up his hands. “Only the pertinent information, Cap. Your life is still your life.” He dropped his hands and his expression softened a little. “I can guess, though, and I know it’s not easy.”

“Yeah?” Steve shifted his weight from one foot to the other. Tony smacked him on the back and beckoned for them to follow him into the elevator.

“Yup. But it gets easier. Just gotta deal with it.” Tony pushed the button for a floor only a couple levels below the roof. “Sorry your birthday sucks. That why you wanted a party tomorrow instead?”

“I don’t need a party at all, Tony,” Steve replied. Tony laughed.

“That’s the Mr. Rogers we know and love,” Tony joked, the elevator opening. “Thirteenth door down the hall on your left. JARVIS’ll help you out if you have an issue.”

“Thanks, Stark,” Steve stuck his hand out and shook Tony’s before leaving the elevator. “I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

Bucky turned to Tony right after Steve left and clapped him on the shoulder. “Good on you, Stark, thanks.”

“No problem, RoboCop,” Tony answered before shoving him out of the elevator and hitting the button for his own floor. “Don’t forget, Pep still thinks the party tomorrow is a surprise, so make him look surprised.”

“Roger dodger,” Bucky replied. He followed Steve down the hallway Tony had instructed them down. Steve tentatively pushed at the thirteenth door on their left, and came into a room with a large sectional and no windows at all. “I thought Stark said he knew what we needed?”

As if on cue, the walls all went from normal-looking to black screens. Bucky curiously shut the door, and fireworks starting exploding absolutely silently on the wall-to-wall screens, expanding up onto the high ceiling. Steve craned his neck to look up and follow the path of the quiet fireworks and grinned.

“He did,” Steve replied. Bucky took him by the hand and led him to the sectional, stretching out on the long end with his back pressed to the cushions. He beckoned to Steve, and Steve crushed himself to Bucky’s side, resting his head on Bucky’s chest. Bucky popped the caps on their cream soda bottles and handed one to Steve. He clinked them together and kissed Steve’s temple.

“Happy birthday,” Bucky murmured against Steve’s skin as a bright red firework on the screen lit up Steve’s face. The next firework did, in fact, look like Steve’s shield, and Steve smiled at it.

“Thanks,” Steve whispered back. Bucky shoved a cupcake in Steve’s face not two minutes later, and Steve tackled him to the floor.

 

**Author's Note:**

> You can follow me on Twitter at [@nicoIodeon](https://twitter.com/nicoIodeon) or on Tumblr at [andillwriteyouatragedy](http://andillwriteyouatragedy.tumblr.com/).


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